


a billion little pieces (til you pulled me into focus)

by madnessiseverything



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Sunsets, a teeny tiny hint of angst cause im me, i cannot believe it took me this long to write a promise ring fic yall, i literally look at a promise ring every day, promise rings, these boys are soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 09:01:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17342489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madnessiseverything/pseuds/madnessiseverything
Summary: They are on a dock watching the sun slowly sink into the ocean, their legs dangling over the water. The few strips of flimsy pink clouds shift as the colors of the sky fade into purple. Fjord steals a glance at Caleb, whose eyes are locked onto the horizon, hands pressed firmly against the wood of the dock. His legs swing back and forth and Fjord cannot help but marvel at the way the rays of light bouncing off of the water seem to be reflected in Caleb’s eyes, so bright and beyond any beauty Fjord ever imagined he’d get to witness.or the one where they are soft and fjord has something to give to caleb.





	a billion little pieces (til you pulled me into focus)

**Author's Note:**

> okay so the other day i literally bolted upright because i realized i hadn't even considered promise rings in any cr context before. this is my first step at amending that terrible situation. many thanks to the ever lovely [glythandra](https://glythandra.tumblr.com/) for beta-ing and reminding me that commas exist. i hope you guys enjoy this softness <3  
> (title from sleeping at last's "venus")

They are on a dock watching the sun slowly sink into the ocean, their legs dangling over the water. The few strips of flimsy pink clouds shift as the colors of the sky fade into purple. Fjord steals a glance at Caleb, whose eyes are locked onto the horizon, hands pressed firmly against the wood of the dock. His legs swing back and forth and Fjord cannot help but marvel at the way the rays of light bouncing off of the water seem to be reflected in Caleb’s eyes, so bright and beyond any beauty Fjord ever imagined he’d get to witness. 

“You aren’t looking,” Caleb says without moving his eyes from the view.  

“I am,” Fjord replies, a smile slowly growing on his face. “It’s beautiful, right?” He watches how red rises into Caleb’s cheeks as he tilts his head, the reflection in his eyes shifting slightly - not unlike the light shifting over the waves as the sun dives deeper.   
  
“I had imagined that the light would reflect, but this is quite - quite breathtaking,” Caleb mumbles and shifts, his hands twisting around to offer his palm. Fjord takes the offer without hesitation, tangling their fingers and looking back at the sunset.    
  
“Sure is.” The cotton candy pink flees from the clouds, leaving them to turn lavender in the encroaching night. A strip of remaining light stretches from the horizon all the way to the water beneath their feet. Fjord shuffles closer to Caleb, pulling his boyfriend into his side. Caleb follows readily, leaning his head against Fjord’s shoulder. “I’ve missed seaside sunsets,” he admits quietly and Caleb’s grip on his hand tightens, the unspoken implications understood.   
  
“I can see why,” Caleb whispers and Fjord looks down at their intertwined fingers. He twists them slightly in his lap, runs his thumb over the back of Caleb’s hand. He breathes, lets Caleb’s attention turn back to the last colors spreading above and before them. The sound of the waves allows his chest to expand with a comfort he has denied himself for so long. He really has missed the ocean. The rushing of water settles his mind, lets his shoulders slump, helps his breaths deepen. The sting of salt in his nose makes him smile. 

And then there is the warmth of Caleb, seeping into his skin from where he was pressed against Fjord. Fjord is quite aware of how quickly Caleb’s presence helps him settle. He draws a circle into Caleb’s hand and smiles. The ability to ground Fjord with so few words, with a simple touch is something Fjord will never take for granted. All it takes is for Caleb to lean against him, for him to hold Fjord’s hand or press a kiss against his forehead, for Fjord’s ever sprinting mind to calm and take its time. Fjord knows he does the same for Caleb, knows he can help smooth out the worried furrow in his brow. He exhales.

“Caleb?” His boyfriend hums and looks up at him, blue eyes showing the final sliver of sunlight. Fjord swallows. “I,” he begins and clears his throat. Caleb sits up, turning to face Fjord, legs crossed underneath him. 

“Fjord?” There it is, the worried crease slowly building between his brows. Without thinking Fjord reaches out and places his hand against Caleb’s cheek, lets his thumb draw a line along the cheekbone.    
  
“I love you.” The words overtake his original intent but Fjord’s chest feels lighter nonetheless. Caleb’s face softens immediately and his hand comes up to cover Fjord’s. A small smile plays around his lips and Fjord wants to freeze time. He wants to pause the rushing of their daily lives, to forget about the danger nipping at their heels and forever live in this moment. Just so he can keep watching the last colors of the day play across Caleb, his eyes shining with that soft brand of love Fjord still cannot believe he deserves to be the object of. 

“I love you too,” Caleb replies and Fjord’s heart flutters. He reaches into his pocket, fingers closing around the contents. 

“I have something for you,” he says, voice low, quiet. He refuses to shatter the moment. Caleb’s hand pulls Fjord’s away from his face, in favor of pressing a quick kiss against Fjord’s knuckles before placing it gently on his thigh. His eyes stay intently focused on Fjord.    
  
Fjord leans forward to let his forehead rest against Caleb's. He breathes. There is salt, a remnant of their dip into the sea this morning. There is the faint trace of blood, a sharp reminder that this bubble of comfort is only temporary. There is dust, the smell of old books. Fjord swallows again.    
  
“I wanted to-” he stops, rearranges the words sticking to his tongue. “Our lives are filled with so much - so much danger and risks. There is always,” Caleb shifts against him, pulling up their joint hands to his chest, breathes into the space between them, “so much worry, every day that it will be our last.” Fjord refuses to let the fear sitting right behind his sternum to color his words. Instead, he focuses on Caleb’s breathing, matches the soft in- and exhales. He pulls his hand from his pocket and places his closed fist in Caleb’s lap. “So I- I got something. It’s silly,” he says and laughs, cursing the slightly desperate edge of the sound. Caleb hums.    
  
“I doubt it is,” he says, with a certainty that makes Fjord smile and the seed of doubt vanish as he lets his hand fall open. He watches Caleb look down and breathes in.    
  
“I want to promise you something.” Fjord looks down, the rings catching lantern light from the dock as they rest in his palm. Caleb has Fjord’s other hand trapped against his chest still, clutching it like a lifeline. Fjord looks back up, searching for Caleb’s gaze. “These seemed like a good - promise.”    
  
Caleb looks back at him, eyes sparkling. “What-” he cuts himself off and squeezes Fjord’s hand. “What is the promise?”    
  
Fjord bites his lip. “I want to promise that I’m not going to die on you before we have the chance to get married.” The words tumble out of his mouth clumsily, free falling into the space between them and he holds his breath. Time seems to slow down as he watches understanding dawn on Caleb’s face, watches him crease his brows. 

“Fjord,” Caleb starts and Fjord already knows what he will say. He shakes his head slightly and pushes closer. 

“I know that we can’t say that for sure. I don’t-” he breathes, closes his eyes briefly before looking back at Caleb imploringly. “Let me promise it, please. I don’t care about probability.” Caleb presses his lips together in a thin line and exhales through his nose. Fjord hates the uncertainty and fear he can see creeping into Caleb’s eyes. “I love you, Caleb, and I don’t want our job to keep us from maybe imagining a life beyond the danger.”    
  
Caleb’s eyes soften, fear bleeding into a mixture of something Fjord can’t discern. “I love you too. I don’t want you to make a promise you might have to break.”    
  
Fjord closes his hand around the rings again and kisses Caleb. Their hands are squashed between their chests as Caleb presses against him, kissing back with a slight taste of desperation that Fjord should have expected. They don’t pull apart, staying in each other’s spaces, lips just out of reach. Caleb breathes in deeply. Fjord nudges his nose with his own. “I don’t intend to break it, darling.” He wants nothing more than to convince Caleb that no deity in this world will make him break this promise, that he will fight them himself if it means keeping it at all costs. He wants Caleb to understand.    
  
Caleb smiles against his lips. “I know.”    
  
“Will you let me promise?”    
  
Caleb hesitates only for another moment before kissing Fjord again. “Promise me.”    
  
Fjord laughs, relief bursting in his chest, and opens his hand again. The two rings stare back. “I hope it fits, I didn’t really - they can be fitted I think.” He twists their joined hands to hover in the air between them. The rings are thin, silver bands, unimpeding in battle, yet still visible enough that Fjord can imagine himself looking over to Caleb at any moment and being able to catch a glint of metal on his hand. He bites his lip at the idea.   
  
Caleb grabs the hand holding the rings and tilts it slightly, letting the dulled lantern light bounce off of them. He smiles. “They’re engraved.” He looks up at Fjord briefly, who ducks his head.    
  
“Yeah, I- uh the jeweler had an idea of - he suggested some runes.” He knows Caleb can read them, even if the light slows down the realization of their meaning. Caleb’s eyes shine as he continues to inspect the rings, the smile on his face growing.    
  
“Love and protection,” he says softly and nods to himself, as if internalizing the runes. His smile makes Fjord’s heart pound against his ribcage. “They’re wonderful, Fjord.” He flattens out his hand, spreads his fingers and lets it hover next to Fjord’s hand holding the rings.    
  
Fjord clears his throat and grabs Caleb's ring, sliding it onto his left ring finger with care. He presses a kiss to Caleb’s knuckles afterwards and locks eyes with him. Caleb’s smile is smaller now, softer. “I promise to stay alive, so that we can have a life after everything is over.” 

Caleb pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, his eyes glistening with the beginning of tears. He grabs the other ring and turns Fjord’s hand over to slide it onto his ring finger. “I promise to stay alive as well. I love you.”   
  
“I love you too,” Fjord breathes and pulls Caleb in for another kiss. Caleb clasps their ring hands against his chest, the metal feeling foreign but so very right as it’s pushed into Fjord’s skin from the grip. He uses his free hand to pull Caleb even closer. Yes, he thinks. He promises. They promise.  
  
Many moments pass before Caleb pulls away to rest his forehead against Fjord’s. “Thank you.”   
  
Fjord smiles and swings their hands slightly between them. “It’s pretty romantic, right?”   
  
Caleb laughs and drops his head down to Fjord’s shoulder, wrapping his arm around Fjord’s waist. “Don’t look so smug, sailor.”   
  
“Don’t try to deny the romance, darling.” Fjord hugs Caleb to his chest, closing his eyes. His heart is calm now, no longer fluttering like a caged bird. The waves rush onto the beach behind them, tuning out anything other than the comfort of Caleb against him, and the feeling of a thread wrapping around the corner of his heart that Caleb has made his home in. 

Fjord will ensure the world will never make them break this promise. He breathes that truth into the night air around them. No deity, he reaffirms, no force will shatter this promise. And if he has to challenge the powers to make good on the promise, well. Fjord prides himself in their joined strength.

**Author's Note:**

> i have another idea that sprouted while thinking about promise rings. we'll see how i do with that one :D in the meantime, feel free to drop by my [cr tumblr](https://nottanothercritter.tumblr.com/) and [cr twitter](https://twitter.com/nottanycritter) to yell about the disaster crew and all the gay.


End file.
